Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Quick, to the slutcave!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
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