Kiss
Puke
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
