peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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