I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
