Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
