There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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