So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize