Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
