when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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