Porn is love you can see.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
