Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
