Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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