I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize