My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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