id be glad to
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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