take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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