I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
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