stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she smelled like a LAN party
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
