hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
