8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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