That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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