we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
