1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
