Screwed.edu
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
