dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
honey bunches of taint.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
