The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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