i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
