I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
