I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm eating all of the evidence.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
