Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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