It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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