The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The beer is more important than you right now.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
