On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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