she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
