We're facebook friends in real life
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
