I could have mohawked her pubes.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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