What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
And then he peed in my hair
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
