well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
