My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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