If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
