I'm drive I can fine osifer
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
