This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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