had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
