I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
