im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
