The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i think im in europe. pls send help
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
