After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
