i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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