I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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