Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
