How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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