I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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