No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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