Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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