She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
