I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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